My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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