I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
two words...techno handjob
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize