I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
