Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize