HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
