What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
