Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
