He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
