i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
