There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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