please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
