is your mom at the bar?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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