this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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