You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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