fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
