is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize