let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize