we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
