Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
