she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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