: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
