For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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