I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
