I CAN MOONWALK!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
