Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
