can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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