sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
