Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
