I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize