My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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