It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
