she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
