So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
