I will die if light touches me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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