So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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