Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
