How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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