the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
