Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
stop calling my apartment porn island.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
