No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
