god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
