I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
