you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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