omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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