You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
