Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
