This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
