Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My sheets look like a crime scene.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
