Just fell off a train. Bad.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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