I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
