It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize