she woke up with a sticky ear
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
