Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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