How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
