Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
