U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize