she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
