if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
