Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
