You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
