So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
