Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
