My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
