So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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