If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When did angry sex become our thing?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
