Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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