I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
