he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
