My nipple is on Facebook.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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